Shop the gear.

Cartoon Tees

Cartoon tee

Battle Buddy Tee

For the one who covered your shift, your excuse, and your bar tab. Never leave a buddy behind.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

E-4 Mafia Tee

Black Gildan tee for junior-enlisted survival, questionable taskings, and getting voluntold.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Blue Falcon Tee

For every unit's favorite snitch. Wear it loud; deny everything at formation.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Mandatory Fun Tee

Nothing says morale like a calendar invite, a forced smile, and a black Gildan tee.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Good Idea Fairy Tee

For when the little winged menace shows up with one more brilliant task at 1630.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Sham Shield Tee

For the sham shield specialists keeping the mission moving — mostly on paper, slides, and highly visible coffee runs.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Geardo Tee

For the gear-minded and over-equipped. Bring a checklist to the checklist and still forget the one thing that matters.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Beardos Tee

Regulation-optional face rug. For the formation that grows back overnight.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Chem Light Batteries Tee

When the glow sticks need a recharge and nobody packed the batteries. Field improvisation, now in shirt form.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Soup Sandwich Tee

When the briefing was a mess and the plan still somehow launched. Wear the chaos.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Formation Changed Again Tee

Here we go again. The formation moved; your patience did not.

$24.99 Shop tee → Cartoon tee

Ranger Candy Tee

For the ibuprofen believers. Take two and ruck on — medic horse approved.

$24.99 Shop tee →

Phrase Tees

Phrase tee

Gather Round. Stay Loud. Tee

The rally cry for tall tales, loud people, and anyone allergic to a quiet huddle.

$24.99 Shop tee → Phrase tee

Close Enough Tee

Precision is a spectrum. Ship it, send it, and let the after-action review sort it out.

$24.99 Shop tee → Phrase tee

Not Here to TYFYS Tee

For those who survived the briefing and respectfully decline the gratitude ceremony.

$24.99 Shop tee →

Logo and Gear

Merch

Classic Logo Tee

Soft classic tee with the Horseshoe Round Me badge up front. Close enough only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and this shirt.

$22.99 Shop tee → Merch

Premium Logo Tee

Cleaner cut, same badge. For when formation is optional but looking sharp isn't.

$24.99 Shop tee → Merch

Logo Hoodie

Range-bag energy for people who don't own a range bag. Heavyweight comfort, loud badge.

$35.99 Shop hoodie → Merch

Dad Hat

Embroidered badge. Low profile. High sarcasm.

$35.99 Shop hat → Merch

Logo Mug

Coffee, dip spit jokes optional. Ceramic mug with the badge.

$8.99 Shop mug → Merch

Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

Soft fleece for cold mornings and colder briefings. Badge up front, excuses optional.

$50.99 Shop sweatshirt → Merch

Long Sleeve Crewneck Tee

Longer sleeves for cooler weather and covering up last weekend's decisions.

$31.99 Shop long sleeve → Merch

Cuff Beanie

Folded cuff, embroidered badge. Keeps the dome warm while the takes stay hot.

$38.99 Shop beanie → Merch

Cotton Canvas Tote Bag

Haul the snacks, the range-bag overflow, and your dignity (optional).

$19.99 Shop tote → Merch

Logo Tank

Hot weather, hotter takes. Badge on the chest, sleeves optional, excuses not required.

$34.99 Shop tank → Merch

Logo Poster

Wall art for the shop, the garage, or the office that still thinks motivational eagles are funny.

$54.99 Shop poster → Merch

Logo Tumbler

Keeps coffee hot, water cold, and your opinions at formation volume.

$39.99 Shop tumbler → Merch

Logo Youth Tee

Junior formation approved. Same badge, smaller frame, zero inspirational nonsense.

$28.99 Shop youth tee →

Digitals and Stickers

Digital

Roast Pack Vol. 1

50+ ready-to-post roast lines and caption hooks by MOS. Copy, paste, post, watch the comments go off.

$7 · one-time Buy & download → Digital

Lock Screen Drop

A pack of phone wallpapers — stencil type, branch jabs, and motivational nonsense. High-res, iPhone & Android.

$5 · one-time Buy & download → Free ship

Sticker 5-Pack

Five classic 1.5" Horseshoe Round Me stickers. Laptop, truck, water bottle, range bag — and one for a buddy.

$9 · free shipping Order now →

Honesty check: apparel and most gear are print-on-demand via Printify (typical ship window about 7–12 business days). Digitals deliver instantly through Payhip. Stickers go through Stripe. We do not invent products, reviews, or “limited drops.”